Suffering from – S.A.D?

Are you or a loved one suffering from – S.A.D?

Today is Rosh Ha’shanna – the Jewish New Year. What an appropriate date to post my fall (autumn) blog.

As most of the Jewish holidays relate to the lunar calendar, and the agriculture seasons, so does Rosh Ha’shanna, which is the new moon after the equinox.

In the Jewish traditions, fall is a time of beginning and renewal, that is when the Jewish New Year, ‘Rosh Ha’shannah  is celebrated.  Autumn is when you harvest the field and prepare for winter.  Yom Kippur, is also part of the high holidays of Autumn, Yom Kippur is the day of Atonement and it is about pardon and forgiveness. It is a tradition to go to the river and throw away ‘the old’, and invite the new for the New Year.  Another tradition of the New Year is to eat an apple with honey to invite the new year to be as sweet as honey…

This time of year, is a time for contemplation and retrospect. The long days of summer, full with warmth, sunshine, day light and many times, vacations, are coming to a close. Nature and humans are sensing the winding down, the closing up, the preparation for the dark time of the year.

‘Shanna Tova’, Happy Rosh Ha’Shanna, Jewish New Year to you and your loved ones. May this year be full with Happiness, creativity, curiosity, sanity, safety, health, connections, and may it be graced with understanding, and forgiveness.

The Jewish New Year comes around the Autumnal equinox, when the days are getting shorter and the nights longer. Autumn, is the beginning of the dark time of the year.

Around this time of yer, some of us will experience mild or even sever change in their emotional state of mind. Even if you have never suffered from depression, you can be having symptoms of S.A.D. Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a type of depression that’s related to changes in seasons — SAD begins and ends at about the same times every year. If you’re like most people with SAD, your symptoms start in the fall and continue into the winter months, sapping your energy and making you feel moody.

“You expected to be sad in the fall. Part of you died each year when the leaves fell from the trees and their branches were bare against the wind and the cold, wintery light…”  Ernest Hemingway, A Moveable Feast

I often talk to my clients around this time of year, about this certain kind of sadness that starts to show up in Autumn. According to the Mayo ClinicSeasonal affective disorder (S.A.D) is a type of depression that’s related to changes in seasons — SAD begins and ends at about the same times every year. If you’re like most people with SAD, your symptoms start in the fall and continue into the winter months, making you feel sad and moody. Less often, SAD causes depression in the spring or early summer.’

It is important to not overlook S.A.D., as it can be debilitating and cause worrisome symptoms.  Don’t brush off that yearly feeling as simply a case of the “winter blues” or a seasonal funk that you have to tough out on your own. Take steps to keep your mood and motivation steady throughout the year.  Treatment for SAD can include light therapy (phototherapy), psychotherapy, and at time, supplements (such as Vitamin D), and medications.

Please do not feel you have to ‘just get over it’, or hunker down until it passes. Please ask and reach for help and support.

According to WebMed, while we don’t know the exact causes of SAD, some scientists think that certain hormones made deep in the brain trigger attitude-related changes at certain times of year. Experts believe that SAD may be related to these hormonal changes. One theory is that less sunlight during fall and winter leads to the brain making less serotonin, a chemical linked to brain pathways that regulate mood. When nerve cell pathways in the brain that regulate mood don’t function normally, the result can be feelings of depression, along with symptoms of fatigue and weight gain.

Another Holiday coming up is Yom Kippur. An important and sacred day in the Jewish tradition. It is the Day of Atonement and forgiveness. Yom Kippur means “Day of Atonement” and refers to the annual Jewish observance of fasting, prayer and repentance, and asking for forgiveness.

Yom Kippur in the Jewish tradition, is when we dedicate our mind, body, and soul to reconciliation with our fellow human beings, ourselves, and God. As the New Year begins, we commit to self-reflection and inner change. We can then turn to those whom we have wronged, acknowledging the pain we have caused them. We are encouraged to forgive, to be willing to let go of any resentment we feel towards those who have committed offenses against us.

“Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.” – Marianne Williamson

In all relationships we make mistakes.  Forgiveness is hard in any relationship.  Research shows that learning how to repair, is the most important skill into healthy relationships.  We will hurt the ones we love. Our loved ones will hurt us. We will be hurt intentionally or unintentionally. It is how to deal with this hurt, how we own the impact it had on our loved ones, that really matters.

Entering into a process of forgiveness is a choice.  If you chose to not forgive, and you close yourself in order to not risk ever being hurt again…You lessen your chances for closeness and connections with your community, parents, partners and loved ones. At times it can separate you from yourself.

One of the important conversation in our Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop,   is about apology and forgiveness. Injuries may be forgiven but they never disappear. Instead, they need to become integrated into couples’ conversations as a demonstrations of renewal and connection. Knowing how to find and offer forgiveness empowers couples to strengthen their bond.

Hold Me Tight® couples workshop is based on Sue Johnson’s Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT).
Dr. Johnson work is based on attachment and how it shapes our intimate connections. Hold Me Tight® is a registered trademark to Sue Johnson

Our next Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop, will be on January 11-12, 2020, in beautiful Nevada City California.  Led by Dalia Anderman, LMFT & Owen Marcus, MA.

Though I lead this workshop regularly, it’s always a renewed and compelling experience for me to facilitate, witness, and hold space for the vulnerable reaching that occurs between partners during the workshop.

At our Hold Me Tight couples workshop, in a safe, intimate, private setting, we hold space for couples to become vulnerable and open to explore, experience, touch and talk through issues that have been untouched. It is time set aside to have these conversations that have been waiting for a long time to happen.

Here are a few of the  raving review and testimonials from our last workshop: (Thank You!!!!)

“This workshop changed my life. Owen and Dalia are freaking amazing and I would insist on every couple taking this course before, and during, marriage. I will be back to do it again.”

“I can’t believe that 2 days could make such an impact on my marriage. The place we were when we entered the workshop compared to where we are at the end is life changing. I left feeling inspired, connected, and loved. I highly recommend it.”

“I have done countless workshops and this one gets right to the meat of it ALL! Money well-spent, and comparatively affordable.”

“This is a very intense and powerful weekend. It’s full of useful skills to help build a deep connection with my wife. Thank you so much.”

“Thank you. The retreat was a game-changer for me and the way I approach our relationship. I see us more as a team rather than adversaries. Amazing experience and I highly recommend it.”

“Prepare to discover insights to your deepest motivations and fears. Expect to be surprised by what you learn about yourself and your partner. Open yourself to the possibility of connection and love.”

As always We Invite and Welcome all Couples!!

Some couples have been enjoying making the trip up to our beautiful town from as far as Hawaii and Alaska.. and making it a weekend retreat.

I am excited to announce that Owen Marcus, MA,, author, workshop facilitator, co-founder of Evryman, and TEDxTalk presenter on Masculine Emotional Intelligence, will once again be assisting me leading the workshop. Owen’s TEDX talk: What 10,000 Years Of Progress Has Cost | Owen Marcus | TEDxSpokane

Owen brings with him the width of decades of leading and facilitating men’s group all over the country, helping men access their masculine vulnerability.  Owen’s presence, and his work with couples and men, will enhance this upcoming Hold Me Tight workshop. Owen has been intensely involved in his new company, Evryman, reaching men all over the world, helping them to access and connect with their deep emotions and vulnerability.

Hold Me Tight® couples workshop is based on Sue Johnson’s Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT)
Dr. Johnson work is based on attachment and how it shapes our intimate connections (

At our Hold Me Tight relationship enhancement Workshop, you will learn and experience how to:
• Affirm strengths in your relationship by developing understanding, communication, and bonding.
• Address negative cycle patterns, and learn why they show up, and how to get out of them.
• Learn how to repair and forgive injuries, and become vulnerable with each other.
• Enhance your emotional, physical, and sexual closeness, and INTIMACY.

This is a link to my blog about the workshop with many FAQ: 

Here is another blog with lots more information about the workshop.

Here is a link to my blog with testimonials and reviews of past participants:

We keep the groups small and intimate, sign up ASAP, all of our previous workshops have been Sold-Out!

Click here to register.

Please FORWARD the information to anyone you think will benefit from this work, and please call or email me with any questions or for more information,

Autumn blessings,