Intimate conversations with your partner

When was the last time you had a deep, intimate, vulnerable, conversation with your partner?

Keeping your love alive, your communication with your partner intimate and transparent, and your sex life juicy and vibrant can be challenging.

Most of us are just too busy. We have careers to pursue, jobs to attend to, finances to figure out, deadlines to keep, kids to raise, medical appointments to keep, travel to arrange… home, house, chores, in-laws… LIFE to live… the list goes on and on – it’s a juggling act.

conflictAnd all too many times, the ball that falls is our relationship. Tired and exhausted, we hope to remember our partner’s birthday and anniversaries and at times with best intentions, we forget.

And when everything gets too hectic, we hope that the love will last, the lust will return, ‘s/he will be there when one day we get to it…

But all too often, when the all those jobs are (well) done, it is just too little too late.

In her book Mating In Captivity, Esther Perel talks about how hard it is for long-term relations to keep the aliveness in their relationship and how often couples fall into despair, affairs, obliviousness and numbness as a result of the “not-paying attention”. She talks about the need to regenerate, to be transparent, and to be vulnerable in the relationship.

Couples Workshop Nevada City‘I was really interested in what makes a couple feel a sense of aliveness, vibrancy, vitality—of Eros as a life force. When couples complain about the listlessness of their sex lives, they sometimes may want to have more sex, but they will always want a better sexual relation. And they will invoke the experience of renewal, of contentedness, of playfulness, of mystery, of regeneration, of power.’

So many of my couples in my office come to see me when one of them has been calling their partner in despair calling to the other, “Where are you…? I have been alone for so long.”

Though many couples with good intentions try to create date night, go on vacations, or even romantic getaways, the time that has passed, the distance and the disconnect is hard to bridge, and sometimes on those get aways, you just want to sleep, eat, and in good cases, make love, but the real issues, the ones we do not talk about, and wish they will go away… remain untouched.

Hurts, betrays, attachment injuries, rituals forgotten, vows broken, all too often drop into a silence of disconnection.

Couples Workshop Nevada CityThat is why it is so important to set the time aside for those intimate conversations and rituals, before it is too late.

Are you longing for Love, Connection, Intimacy, and Vulnerability with your partner, but instead you:

• have recurring fights that go round and round without resolution?
• lack affection, intimacy, closeness, or sex?
• feel alone, lonely, betrayed, abandoned?

Do you want to:

  • feel more closeness, connection, understanding, and engagement?
  • have good fulfilling communication?
  • learn how to reach for your partner?
  • talk about your need and hopes?

At our Hold Me Tight couples workshop, in a safe, intimate, private setting, we hold space for couples to become vulnerable and open to explore, experience, touch and talk through issues that have been untouched. It is time set aside to have these conversations that have been waiting for a long time to happen.

Couples Workshop Nevada CityDr. Sue Johnson developed the Hold Me Tight program based on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and her bestselling book, Hold Me Tight, Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love.

She is the primary developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) which has demonstrated its effectiveness in over 25 years of peer-reviewed clinical research. It’s outstanding success has been heralded in many scientific journals, professional magazines and media such as New York Times and Psychology Today.

The focus of EFT is to help partners to understand more clearly each other’s deepest emotions. Feelings are often hidden, unexpressed or misunderstood. Our relationships can be a cause of stress and pain or a source of comfort and joy. In EFT, we help couples learn how to deal with their feelings together, reach towards each other, and be responsive in more loving and positive ways.

In our Hold Me Tight Couples Weekend Workshopwe will be effective, safe, supportive, and validating. Most importantly, the weekend will be positive, proactive and FUN!  The tools you learn will continue to serve your relationship long after this weekend.

At our Hold Me Tight relationship enhancement Workshop you will learn and experience how to:

• affirm strengths in your relationship by developing understanding and bonding
• address negative cycle patterns, and learn why they show up, and how to get out of them
• learn how to repair and forgive injuries, and become vulnerable with each other
• enhance your emotional, physical, and sexual closeness and INTIMACY

Happy New Year from Dalia Anderman, MFTFor the first time
, since I have started to offer the Hold Me Tight workshops here in Nevada City CA, I’m delighted to be offering my next HMT couples workshop Saturday April 30th to Sunday May 1st with Owen Marcus, MA, author, workshop facilitator and TEDxTalk presenter on Masculine Emotional Intelligence. Owen brings with him decades of experience leading and facilitating men’s group all over the country in helping men access their masculine vulnerability.  Owen’s presence and his work with couples and men will enhance this upcoming Hold Me Tight workshop by offering his depth, support and perspective to the couples in our workshop.

Here are the links to Owen’s work:
Owen’s TEDX talk: What 10,000 Years Of Progress Has Cost. As I keep the groups small and intimate, if you know you want to sign up, I will encourage you to do so shortly, as I do tend to fill up. SPACE IS LIMITED. SO SIGN UP ASAP.

This is a great opportunity to have a deeper and vulnerable look at your relationship, develop new skills to recognize the cycle and patterns that inflict the relationship and keep you separated and apart, and It is also a beautiful time to connect and highlight the strengths of your relationship, and built on the positive that already exist.

Please do not hesitate to call me with any questions or for more information. Looking forward to sharing the workshop with you.

Couples Workshop Nevada City