When it comes to Couple-hood, Are we all the same?

Not All Who Wander Are Lost –  J. R. R. Tolkien

I have not always been in relationships. There were years in my life, when I was single.  At times I very much enjoyed it, taking time between relationships, to process, integrate, and get to know myself better, out of relationship.  Other times, I would look at couples with a bit of envy and jealousy, seeing their displayed playful intimacy as a goal, wondering if I will every ‘find the one’..

This time, on my travels, on my way to Israel, to teach my Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshops, I was looking at couples with another lens; not just for capturing them on my iPhone camera, but realizing that they/we, are all kind of  ‘the same’ in couple-hood..  The couples I was watching, in France, Greece, and Israel, transcended  geography… They exist in so many diverse cultures, countries, languages, and yet, all in the same language of the intimacy of relationships.

Those of you who know me, know my passion for travels. This time around, I got to combine three of my passions; my passions for traveling, for facilitating the Hold Me Tight® program, and my love for my country of origin, Israel.

My travels first took me to outside of Paris, France, where I attended a very good friend’s wedding. I met an older couple there who have been married for over 70 years. They were a mixed race couple who had the courage to face the challenges at times where that was unheard of, they were the power of love and commitment. Thank you Desire and Jeannette for allowing me to post your picture and your story.

Right outside of the wedding venue was a full bloom sunflowers field. It looked like hundreds of suns reflecting the beauty of summer.

In Israel I facilitated a unique Hold Me Tight® experience, in Herzliya, Israel.

We created a two days workshop, designed for therapists, which was a combination of experiencing the workshop as participants, learning about how to facilitate a workshop, as well as getting more familiar with the 7 conversations in the Hold Me Tight book and program. The group of therapist and myself, emerged from the two days, with a new practice that I felt was enriched, interesting, and delightful.

It was mostly in Hebrew, with group efforts to help me with the translation of the material as we went along.

Big Thanks and Toda Raba, to Osnat Cohen-Ganor, (Clinical Psychologist, EFT Certified Couples Therapist), for organizing, hosting, and being the force behind this great opportunity!

And yet again, I was so grateful to Sue Johnson for creating EFT (Emotional Focused Therapy), and giving us a map we can use to help our couples, over and over again.

I was truly honored for the experience in Israel and the opportunity to meet a group of dedicated and professional therapists who are part of EFT Israel.

It was fascinating to lead the workshop in my home country, and partially translate some of the material. Hebrew is my original language, and translating the materials as we went along, with the help of the group of EFT Israel, was deepening my connection to the material.

Here are only  some of the testimonials: (some are translated from Hebrew…)

“Thank you Dalia for an interesting workshop. I feel that I want to learn more about HMT. Thank you for sharing with us  all these knowledge and experience of yours!!”

“Thank you very much, it’s very generous of you and was exciting for me. You’re right, the workshop was something new with its limitations, but for me it was important. The systematization of the conversations in the workshop work book will also help me with the treatments in the clinic, and I am really glad that I participated. I wish you a pleasant stay here at our house. Thank you”

“I got a lot of the workshop as it gave me the opportunity to learn more about the Hold Me Tight book, as well as how to translate some of it into my practice.”

“I will highly recommend this workshop to therapists and to clients, it contributed a lot to my own development as a therapist.”

“Thank you for deepening my understanding about the Hold Me Tight work. It was good to work together as a group, and learn from the triggers that the group experienced”
“good workshop, thanks for your help and your passion for the work.”

“deep insight, refreshing and fun filled experience.”

“I am excited and confident for the possibility of creating and facilitating
a Hold Me Tight® workshop.
“Thank you Dalia for the days you invested in us and shared with us your experience and knowledge. It gave me a lot of food to think about and to wonder how I continue,  Something that is positive and refreshing. Thanks again and hope we meet again”

As I was traveling through Israel, it was fascinating to observe how diverse the population is. A unique mix of orthodox Jews, secular Israelis, traditionally dressed Moslem couples, and tourists from all over the world. As politicians are busy ‘solving conflicts’, here, on the beach, and in the markets, peace and sharing in the simplicity of life is practiced.

It is true that though we are all different, seeing couples through the lens of a camera on my travels, makes it so clear how love and connection is the same in all languages, and traditions. Of course, every culture brings its own limitation and uniqueness, but watching those different made me realize again, why I am so passionate and grateful for the opportunity to works with couples in my therapy practice.

Out next Northern California, Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop  is October 13-14, 2018. To learn about our next  Hold Me Tight® workshop read here! 

Whether couples come to deal with painful issues such as infidelity and affairs, or to enhance what is good in their relationship, wanting to make it even better, our Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop, is a safe place to understand your relationship, and learn how to reach FOR each other in times of need, and communicate hopes, wants and needs.

We keep the workshop small and intimate, with no mandated ‘group work’, and with lots of time to work as a couple with the help of myself and Owen (who is a master in the work he does with men, helping them to open up to their vulnerability, and connect with their partner).

At our Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop  you will learn and experience how to:

  • Affirm strengths in your relationship by developing understanding, communication, and bonding.
  • Address negative cycle patterns, and learn why they show up, and how to get out of them.
  • Learn how to repair and forgive injuries, and become vulnerable with each other.
  • Enhance your emotional, physical, and sexual closeness, and INTIMACY
You will also be able to:
  • Make sense of your own as well as your partner’s emotions.
  • Forgive injuries that keep you from really opening up with your partner.
  • Communicate your emotional needs for connection.
  • Establish a secure and intimate bond for one another.
  • Restore commitment and hope.
  • Decrease isolation, distance and loneliness.
  • Learn to manage intense and negative emotion.
  • Rebuild safety and trust (where there has been trauma).

I am excited to announce that Owen Marcus, MA,  author, workshop facilitator, and TEDxTalk presenter on Masculine Emotional Intelligence, will once again be assisting me leading the workshop.

Owen brings with him the width of decades of leading and facilitating men’s group all over the country, helping men access their masculine vulnerability.  Owens presence, and his work with couples and men, will enhance this upcoming Hold Me Tight workshop.  Here are the links to Owen’s work:

http://owenmarcus.com
Owen’s TEDX talk: What 10,000 Years Of Progress Has Cost | Owen Marcus | TEDxSpokane

Spaces Are Limited.As I keep the groups small and intimate, if you know you want to sign up, I will encourage you to do so shortly, as all our workshop in the last few years have been Sold-Out!

If you have any questions about couples therapy, or the workshop, please do not hesitate to contact me,
with warm regards,
Love,
Dalia
 
(530) 692 0680
Note: Hold Me Tight® is a registered trademark to Sue Johnson.