Secure Attachments Help with Stress in Times of Adversity

Secure Attachments Help with Stress in Times of Adversity

Every time I sat down this last month to write my monthly blog, another, tragic, stressful, event occurred and threw me off.  From the shooting in Thousand Oak, to the fires that are raging only an hour from where I live, and have destroyed the town of Paradise and some neighboring towns. Here in Northern California, we have been struggling…

Read More→

Attention Men – Vulnerability Is An Aphrodisiac..

Attention Men – Vulnerability Is An Aphrodisiac..

In 2015 I wrote a blog about Why Men do Not show emotions ? I re-read my blog today, and here is some of what I wrote: “Whenever a frustrated woman in a therapy session asks me the question, “why doesn’t he talk to me about his emotions” or on the contrary, the frustrated man is trying so hard to…

Read More→

How Do We Know If We Found The ‘One’..

How Do We Know If We Found The ‘One’..

I wanted to start this blog with a little apology, and a gratitude, to all of you, for your endurance and support. Those of you who read my blog, or get my newsletter, may at times, need to endure my mass marketing and promotions, of my Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop, and I bet it could be a bit of…

Read More→

I Don’t Want To Talk About It…

I Don’t Want To Talk About It…

Recently in a therapy session, I started talking to a client about some depression and anxiety he or she was experiencing. When I started asking about some of his/her background, history, parents, childhood, the push-back I got was ‘I don’t want to talk about it’, ‘it all happened so long ago’, ‘I don’t know what the point is, I’m a…

Read More→

How to Get it 'Right' on Valentine Day

How to Get it ‘Right’ on Valentine’s Day..

As soon as January rolls in, the shelves in the grocery store fill up with Valentine’s Day ‘goodies’… pink bears, heart shaped chocolate boxes, chocolate roses, flowers, cards… all reminding us NOT to forget our loved ones on Valentine’s Day… Getting it ‘right’ on Valentine’s Day can be tricky.. so ‘How Do I Get it Right’? How do I let…

Read More→

The darkest day of the yea

Bringing Light to the Darkest Day of the Year

Recently I had my own dark night. Not heeding my own ‘advice’ about coping with holiday stress, I tried to power through all the symptoms of what I thought was a flu, only to find myself diagnosed with pneumonia.. It was scary. I have never been that sick, and felt that darkness of helplessness and needing to rely on others…

Read More→

This Holiday Give the Gift of Connection to Your Loved One

Give the Gift of Connection

This Holiday Give the Gift of Connection to Your Loved One When was the last time you had a deep, intimate, vulnerable, conversation with your partner? Let alone Seven (7) Conversations.. This Holiday, GIVE each other THE GIFT OF LOVE and INTIMACY. At our Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop, in a safe, intimate, private setting, we hold space for couples…

Read More→

Daring to Own Our Story – Being Vulnerable – Loving

Daring to Own Our Story – Being Vulnerable – Loving

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power…

Read More→

Infidelity

Infidelity – a Deal Breaker – or – a Game Changer ?

Out Beyond Ideas of Right Doing.. and Wrong Doing.. There Is A Field.. I’ll Meet You There..   ~ Rumi. Why Infidelity? I know it is almost Valentine’s Day and I should be writing my blog about hearts and flowers and chocolates, but I am a couples therapist… and I lead couples workshops… and many times I hold space for…

Read More→

Longing to Belong: How do I know I belong?

Longing to Belong: How do I know I belong?

“A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all people. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don’t function as we were meant to. We break. We fall apart. We numb. We ache. We hurt others. We get sick.” –…

Read More→