I Always Wanted to be a Flight Attendant-and Coping with Holiday Stress

I love Halloween, it is such a beautiful time of the year, as leaves change colors, and the the skies change dramatically with the weather shifts. Here in Nevada City CA, Halloween is celebrated with lots of festivities and lots of grown-ups dress-ups..

I have always said that when the world will be ‘a perfect place’, and my work as a counselor and a psychotherapist will no longer be needed, (because all will be well..), I will become what I always wanted to be.. a flight-attendant, and travel the world..

This year some of my friends and I decided that for Halloween we will be a flight crew.. I think our airline was named ‘Fantasy Airline..’ or was it .. ‘Love Airline..’, I can not remember.. but here we are..

Halloween marks the beginning of the Holiday Season, and with it, the Holiday Stress.

Here are some ideas of how to watch for, prevent, and cope with, Holiday Stresses:

1. Be realistic. Holidays don’t have to be PERFECT or ‘just like last year’.. Allow for change and flexibility. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well.

2. Stick to a BUDGET. Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Often we feel the need to spend money to show our love. But many times presence comes before presents. And baking cookies or fudge can be economical yummy and fun!!

3. Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus, make your shopping list, know how much time it takes to accomplish what you hope for, and take into account that everything takes longer during the holidays, including traffic!

4. Acknowledge your feelings. If you or someone you close to, has recently experienced a loss, or can’t be with loved ones, realize that it’s normal to feel sadness and grief. It’s OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. Be honest. Express your needs. Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship.

5. Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and Meditation timeoverwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can’t participate in every project or activity. So often we overextend ourselves only to feel spent exhausted and depleted. Set clear boundaries even with family and friends.

6. Make sure to take some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Don’t neglect your daily practice of exercising, yoga, or meditation.

7. Take time to do NOTHING AT ALL!!!

8. Don’t forget to have FUN and JOY.

For couples the holidays present yet another kind of stresses. Whether you are in a committed relationship, long time marriage, or newly weds, the stress of dividing and sharing your time with all the different families of your life, can bring yet added stress.  It is so hard to make all the family members happy, and satisfied.

At times it can bring, and trigger, added stresses to the relationship, as couples need to navigate their families and the holidays, and their own need for time together and alone. The longing for connections and communication, become ever so acute, and the difficulties to find time and space for intimacy, can become even more pivotal and painful during the holidays.

Couples want to connect and reach out but find it hard and frustrating.

In January 2018, when the after the holidays stress is finally over, we offer our next Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop here in Nevada City California.

At our Hold Me Tight® Couples Weekend Workshop,  in an effective, safe, supportive, and validating environment; we hold space for couple to explore their relationship. Most importantly, the weekend is positive, proactive and FUN!  The tools you learn will continue to serve your relationship long after this weekend.

Do you want to:

  • feel more closeness, connection, and engagement with your partner?
  • have good fulfilling communication?
  • learn how to reach for your partner at times of need?
  • renew your commitment for intimacy and sexual connection?
  • learn how to ‘dance t the end of love’?

In our Hold Me Tight® Couples Weekend Workshop you will:

• Affirm strengths in your relationship by developing understanding and bonding.
• Address negative cycle patterns, and learn why they show up, and how to get out of them.
• Learn how to repair and forgive injuries, and become vulnerable with each other.
• Enhance your emotional, physical, and sexual closeness and INTIMACY.

I’m delighted to be offering my next Hold Me Tight® Couples Workshop here in Nevada City California on January 27-28th, 2018.

Owen Marcus, MA, author, workshop facilitator, and TEDxTalk presenter on Masculine Emotional Intelligence, will once again be assisting me in leading the workshop.

Owen brings with him the width of decades of leading and facilitating men’s group all over the country, helping men access their masculine vulnerability. Owen’s presence, and his work with couples and men, will enhance this upcoming Hold Me Tight workshop, by offering his depth, support, and perspective to the couples in our workshop.

Here are the links to Owen’s work:

Owen’s Web site
Owen’s TEDX talk: What 10,000 Years Of Progress Has Cost | Owen Marcus | TEDxSpokane

This work is based on Dr. Sue Johnson’s Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT)
Dr. Johnson work is based on attachment and how it shapes our intimate connections.

Here is what John Gotman says about Sue’s work:

“At last, a road map through Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy
with its creator. Dr. Johnson’s superb science, humor, and clinical
wisdom are finally accessible to all of us. I couldn’t pick a smarter,
warmer, and more real guide for this journey.”
John Gottman, Ph.D., author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.

At our Hold Me Tight® relationship enhancement Workshop, you will learn and experience how to:

• Affirm strengths in your relationship by developing understanding, communication, and bonding.
• Address negative cycle patterns, and learn why they show up, and how to get out of them.
• Learn how to repair and forgive injuries, and become vulnerable with each other.
• Enhance your emotional, physical, and sexual closeness, and INTIMACY.


Hold Me Tight Workshop

As I keep the groups small and intimate, if you know you want to sign up, I will encourage you to do so shortly, as all our workshop in the last few years have been Sold-Out!

This is a great opportunity to have a deeper and vulnerable look at your relationship, to understand the dance of your own relationships, and develop new skills to recognize the cycle and patterns that inflict the relationship and keep you separated and apart.

It is also a beautiful time to connect and highlight the strengths of your relationship, and build on the positives that already exist.

Please do not hesitate to Contact me with any questions or for more information. Looking forward to sharing the workshop with you and I hope you are enjoying this beautiful summer.

Warm regards,


(530) 692 0680


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