Are We Just Roommates?

Finding a way out of the “Roommate Marriage” So many times I hear this sentiment in the therapy office. “We are just roommates,” “we are just co-parenting,” “when the kids leave home there will be nothing left and we will part,” “we are friends at best but more like strangers,” “we are house managers” and the list goes on. Being…

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Longing Blog by Dalia Anderman, MFT

Why Men Do Not Show Emotions? – or Do They?

In my Twenty+ years of marriage, I used to have endless conflicts with my then-husband about him not talking, not sharing emotions, not being as verbal as I wanted him to be. A caring, compassionate, soft-spoken quiet man, I would take his quietness personally, and would protest it endlessly. It was years later after our divorce, after becoming a competent…

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When Living Hurts – Signs you’re battling with depression

… and when do we need to seek help? As a child of a parent that suffered from depression, I know what it is like ‘when living hurts’, and also how devastating it can be for the close and loved ones of the depressed person. It is an experience full of sadness, chaos, fear, loneliness and despair. Almost everyone has had some…

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Touched or Devastated by Infidelity?

Can We Be Monogamous? The most common trouble that couples bring into therapy is the issue of infidelity. Sexual affair, emotional affairs, betrayals, long-time or one night stands, it is all about the bond of trust being broken. And it is always painful. Many have been touched by affairs of parents, friends or other family members. We frequently see it in the movies and…

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I Don’t Know Where I Stand With You.. or.. Intimacy = In To Me You See..

The other day at my office I had a client turn to their partner and say with tears in their eyes.. ‘I do not know where I stand with you..’ So often I hear troubled partners tell each other: ‘are you there for me’, ‘will you be there when I need you’, ‘will you have my back’, ‘can I rely on…

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Fifty Shades of Vulnerability and How I Finally Joined the 21st Century

Last night I went to see Fifty Shades of Grey with my women circle book club. Even-though the reviews of the movie have been kind of ‘shady’, I was curious to see it and judge for myself, and as both the movie and the book were so highly successful (more copies sold then Harry Potter!), it was a sign of…

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Are the ‘Reds’ of Valentine’s Day giving you the ‘Blues’? 

Are you dreading a disappointment? Are memories of past Valentines hurting you? Valentine Day is not always an easy day for many of us. If you are in a rocky relationship, recently broken up, or just have not found the ONE, it could be a difficult day, and all those chocolates and flowers can ache. Rumi the great Sufi poet who…

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Don’t underestimate HOLIDAY STRESS — from 41000 ft up in the air!

Today is my birthday and I’m up at 41K on my way to Israel to deal with some family issues. Oddly the flight attendant on my flight is also having a birthday today.. She got me cake from first class… Waking up at dawn (well not that I really slept) to the sunrise of my birthday and a man praying…

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Are GHOSTS of past Relationships Haunting You?

Hold Me (Tight) ….. I’m Scared. Time to invite your partner into the haunted house and make it safe? Many times we carry injuries and wounds from past relationships with attachment figures (parents, caregivers, past love relationships),  into our PRESENT life; unaware how those attachment injuries affect our present capacity to open, bond, love, take risks, and be vulnerable with…

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Fall Workshop

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